Trying To Figure It Out

Alright-here I am on the very first day of the new year and I am faced with all kinds of challenges. I imagine I am not alone. Here is what I am trying to come to grips with while my husband is watching--- let's see---delayed Rose Bowl? Sugar Bowl in real time-- yes, that is it. Alright-- back to me---

I have been thinking I need to simplify and learn how to do some of the things I have been saying I want to do----- like learn more about this Mac computer----- like learn more about the wonderful, expensive, digital camera I purchased, over a year ago, and the flash is still on----- those are the two utmost things on my " Want to Do " list.

BUT

then I read blogs today and Karen Valentine, who you can visit here, says she is doing her first swap. I go to the swap site, which you can visit, here.

I resist the temptation to immediately join before I can change my mind. Like Karen, I have never participated in an official swap. Packaging is my fun business---- so one would think I would have lots of confidence and ------

This afternoon I was feeling sort of blue----

Yes, sorry, thoughts of my daughter were involved.

Over the holidays, Randy heard through the Pinetop grapevine, Amber is tweaking on a very regular basis. I had to ask my sweet husband what that meant--- tweaking to me involved making a few adjustments to something. Shows you my age and experience. Anyway, for those of you like me, it means using Meth----- Now, I already was sure this was the case-----but hearing it spoken out loud----well, all you mom's out there KNOW my thoughts---- or maybe not---- because honestly, unless you have been around during the entire history of this child, this woman---- well, let's move on, shall we?

I have wandered so I will get back on track-- sort of--

What would get my mind off of feeling blue?

Printed off the 25% off entire coupon for Michael's valid only today and headed out. When I go back to Pinetop next week there will be no Michael's anywhere near. What was on my mind as I wandered around the isles? Valentine's-----THE SWAP------

Learning the computer? No

Simplifying my life? No

Learning more about my camera? No

Most of my purchases involved Valentine's---

Fast forward-----

Home--- Just checked blogs again. Saw Judy, whose work is lovely, visit her here--- had a new post--- what is her post about? A collage camp she took last year that is being offered again--

What do I want to immediately do?

Yep-- sign up for the camp--

Does this have anything to do with learning my computer? No

Does this have anything to do with simplifying my life? No

Does this have anything to do with learning photography? No

So, my question to myself becomes, what is it I REALLY want to do? I just told my dear friend, Janice, this morning, at breakfast ( another story in and of itself ) I TRULY BELIEVE we all do what we really want to do. It has been a journey for me to recognize and accept this but it is there---------------

So------------------------------------------------------------

On the winding down of this first day of the year I am faced with this delima----------------------------------------------

What is it I REALLY want to do this year of 2010?

Do you know what it is YOU REALLY WANT TO DO in 2010?

If so, I would love to hear what it is!

For sure, I want to thank the world for giving each of us the opportunity to make our choices-----

Happy January 1st, 2010.