then surely silence speaks a million.
If a mother's heart bursts with joy and pride at birth,
it surely follows that it is capable of shrinking with sorrow and horror caused by the creation itself.
If one is who they are because of each and every event
no matter how small or large
AND
If one could choose to change one's being would one?
For the very first time in my life the answer to that question is yes.
If the opposite of love is indifference,
Why does one choose to stay in a state of caring for so long?
If one tries to make all the right choices,
why do they not appear right through every one's eyes?
Never mind--I know the answer to this one. Do You?
If I seem to be drowning in self pity fear not;
there is no need to throw me a life jacket.
Deep inside my soul I already possess the best one available.
I am reading a novel, The Last Time We Met, by Judith Krantz. She is one of my favorite authors. Her books always deal with tragedy but it is not the tragedy which draws me to them. It is her use of the English language. To me it is as if she is writing a novel through poetry. I have paraphrased below a sentence that when read by me, it was as if it was written just for me, at that very moment in time.
Grief shows itself in a random pattern; some moments would be unbearable, others would be merely bits and pieces of a bad story.
Lately there have been many more moments that are unbearable, mingled every now and again with bits and pieces of a bad story. I must continue to work on reversing the order.
If you have a choice today, choose for yourself, not someone else, for if you drown, you are of no help to anyone.
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