Thursday, July 30, 2009
Kim, Sue, CeCe ( that would be me ) and Donna
No, you are not seeing Wednesday's post. Thought I would just post the picture again so the explaining would be easier.
Yesterday, I met Kim, of Sweet Sage Vintage at our old stomping ground, Merchant Square, in Chandler. Both of us used to have antique booths there. I, at the end of my reign, had two booths -- one filled with linens and hand sewn treasures - well, I thought they were treasures! Anyway, neither of us had been there in quite awhile. Actually I had not been there at all since all since leaving. Giving up my spaces was hard for me. My booths and the people at Merchant brought me much joy even though having a booth is a lot of work. Going back to visit was a good thing. Catching up with Kim was a good thing. There were other friends that I got to catch up with that are not in the picture. They were not all around when the picture was taken. As much as I enjoyed being there something struck me about the day other than friendship.
Every single person with which I spoke had her own story to tell.
Every single person with which I spoke was dealing with the story of their lives.
Every single person with which I spoke, at some point of the conversation, smiled.
The only person I saw cry was me. When I was talking to Donna, alone, at the end of the day, I was trying to tell her about Amber. Out of nowhere, the lump in my throat came, the tears I tried to control came and the sorrow in my heart came. But, you know what, immediately afterwards, because of the compassion shown to me from loving kindness of one friend listening and caring, a smile could be seen on my face. Donna said she could not say anything to help me but that was not true. Donna did not even need to say a word in order to help me. She listened and she understood my pain and by doing so she brought me joy. Thank you Donna. Thank you, to each of you that listens, whether it is by reading my words or hearing my words. By doing so you bring me joy. Loving thoughts for each other are released in the atmosphere and one only has to be still and listen to hear them. I hope you hear mine today and all the other people that care for you. We are all in this world together.
Amber told Maria she is now staying with a friend named Misty. Amber told her it was her a friend that is NOT an alcoholic.
Amber also asked Maria to let her borrow her car.
Maria said NO.
Chandler went to the lake again with Amber. I do not know how they got there. All the above information was relayed to me via Randy talking to Maria.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Yesterday was my mom's birthday. This is the first year she spent a birthday in her new heavenly body. I am sure she had the best of birthdays!
A shabby panel I completed yesterday.
I was going to show you a green panel but the paint color is not showing up. What you can also see in this picture is the tile. See the difference in the grout on the bottom and the grout on the back splash---not pretty. BUT yesterday we got a bid on having someone remove all the old grout and replacing it and the three cracked tiles. $550. complete. I think this is what we will do since I love tile. I think later we will spend the money we save by not replacing the counters on updating the ovens and cook top with stainless steel to match the new refrigerator.
Also, my husband starting sanding the island butcher block today. Is looking good. Smile.
Alright, back to the cabinets. Here is what I am thinking. I think I am going to do all the upper cabinets and the island cabinets like the above sample. I am going to paint the lower cabinets under the tile green and paint the walls to match the lower green cabinets. At least that is my current thought.
Isn't showing up well because of the shine but thought I might as well post my new refrigerator which we are very grateful to have.
Later I will post a larger view of the kitchen so you can get a better feel for what I am describing. At the moment there is stuff everywhere!
I went shopping today for Chandler school clothes and just happened to find a couple of items for myself. Got a new set of 1000 count white sheets --- YUM ---- I love J. C. Penny outlet store.
Tomorrow I get to play with Kim, of Sweet Sage Vintage. If you would like to visit her, click here. She is the most delightful person to visit!
Chandler has an appointment with his primary care physician in about a week. This is to see about having his arm operated on which has the extra bone growth. I will be out of town but Grandy will take him and let us all know what is said. I am so very grateful Maria got the Power of Attorney for his medical. I need to ask her if she contacted Karen about emergency custody since Amber now has no vehicle ( again ) and cannot possible take care of him. Nothing new to our knowledge regarding her. Have not a clue what is happening with her. I thought about her today in J. C. Penny as I was looking in the shoe section. I passed the size 10 shoes, her size and my heart ached. I used to always buy her shoes if I saw some I thought she would like.
Alright, will close and wish you all a happy evening. Thanks for visiting with me today.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Remember all those boxes I packed?
Remember all those boxes Randy hauled to the storage shed?
Remember we took the house off the market after over two years of having a For Sale sign in our front yard?
Well, they are back. We finished hauling all of them back on Friday. It took eleven trips with our truck named Toby -- ( Chandler named the truck years ago when we first bought it )
Not exactly the time of year in the desert of the sun to be hauling but it can be done. We must have drank gallons and gallons of water over the course of the day. The good news is, while we had some aches and pains yesterday, they were not as bad as we anticipated. Randy even won $50.00 in the golf tournament he played in. So, what that translate to is he got to play for free!
Today we just have to go sweep out the space and fill out a vacate form.
comes the decision making part over the next few months.
Since we are keeping the house for a few more years-
Will it be two?
Will it be three?
Will it be four?
You get the picture---
I am not one to live for a long time someplace that is not decorated--
We are slowly, and I mean slowly updating some items and making some changes.
I have two major concerns going on in my head.
Number One- I never got on the granite bandwagon.
Don't like the way it looks, have tried and tried to like the way it looks.
Keep reading about counter tops--
Don't like what I read about it or many of the other products-
concrete, siltstone- finding they all have their drawbacks - which of course is natural- but why put something in because everyone else is doing it? Well, to make it more marketable, of course-- but--- how long are we staying? Will granite be out? I mean it is a little late in the cycle to be changing now.
I like tile. I love tile. I can put hot things down on it with absolutely no worries. Fabulous. I just wish it was white. Sooooo ---- that brings me to the next thought process. I am also now into painted wood. I am thinking seriously about painting all of my oak cabinets. I am also thinking seriously about painting all of my baseboards and interior doors. Want them all white. Thinking about matching the tile color and either painting the cabinets the cream color to match OR painting the cabinets a color. Uh Oh----here we go again--doing it for me or doing it for resale?
So, anyway, those are the LITTLE things on my mind.
Will let you in on this thought---today I am taking a tile, getting it paint color matched and painting the removable oak panel on the garbage compactor. This will allow me to see how it looks while being able to remove the panel so my playing will not show. Going to paint half the panel the matching tile color and half a color which I think will be a green. Hopefully pictures will come later for you to take a look.
My island is butcher block. Plan to sand it down to refurbish it's looks.
Love the look of butcher block. I am just an old fashioned girl at heart.
Proof of our labor !
This has become our nightly routine, thank goodness for the pool in the desert heat.
Each night we watch to see how many birds we have visiting in the branches which need to be trimmed. The most we have counted so far is ten.
Later on there were none. They come and they go. Sometimes I wonder if there are any of the same ones visiting or if it is a new visitor each time. I am guessing it is a few of both --- sort of like life's challenges --- they come and they go.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Now You See It
Now You Don't
Like our new patio furniture?
These are old, and I mean old, auditorium seats. I got them in Tyler Texas on my last antiquing trip. I bought several sets and was going to sell them in my booth at Merchant Square. I still plan to sell some someday. I also want to paint some and girly them up. Chandler has these in his room at our house and at his house. The kids sit in them to play video games. As he says, these are REALLY comfortable to be wooden seats.
We are spreading things out around the house and filling up the garage.
Am about to get my stinky work clothes on and off to the storage shed we will go.
Instead of going with me, I suggest you click and visit here today. You will find the most wonderful party going on and I know you will enjoy seeing the spaces of many super bloggers! It will take me hours to visit them all. I will be having an extremely good time! Can't wait!
Oh Yes---This JUST in--
Amber was arrested for DUI--Extreme DUI---That is Amber---everything she does is to the extreme.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Why do people double deal?
What is the purpose?
Randy talked to Bud, the Pinetop detective , yesterday. Randy asked him to check on the arrest reports to see if it showed Amber had been arrested. Bud called him back to let Randy know he had checked the Pinetop, Showlow, and County reports. There was no record of Amber being arrested for a DUI.
When Randy told Maria this, Maria suggested to Randy the justice department is so slow maybe it had not been posted yet. Huuuuummmmm----well, maybe but Randy thinks this is unlikely.
I repeat ---- Why do people double deal? More specifically, why would Amber say she had been arrested for a DUI, her car impounded, etc. if it had not happened? I just do not understand the duplicity of her actions.
Maria called Randy to ask him to check with Gordon, our counselor, for a referral for a counselor that works with children. I guess Chandler had exhibited more behavior which was indicative of not taking responsibility for his actions. We all greatly worry about Chandler following in his birth mother's foot steps. I am sure this is a normal worry. Now that Maria got power of attorney for medical and school we should be able to get him some counseling. Gordon suggested we find someone in Pinetop so I guess it will be on the list of things to accomplish after vacation is over.
Yesterday, for most of the day, I worked on reorganizing the garage. I moved much of my business stuff into the emptied garage storage cabinets. We made a trip to the storage shed to start moving things back to the house. I took three showers yesterday due to the sweat dripping off my body. My lower back is hurting today. We laughed in the pool last night --- we had always said after fifty we would not move ourselves again. We moved ourselves to Pinetop and here we are moving ourselves in and out of the same house in the valley!!!! Smile. We also joked about the lovely home we had purchased and the great deal we got, etc. Randy called our real estate lady and told her we were taking the house off the market.
We have Emil, Maria's cousin, coming today to look at all our plumbing needs. Changing out sinks, hardware, etc. He is going to move our sink buffet out of the powder room so we can paint in there. Getting rid of the last wall papered rooms is on list of things to do. Trying to figure out what color to paint it since I don't want to make a mistake due to it being such a pain in the b_ _ _ to prep for painting. One of my major problems is when we built this home I favored cream over white. All my tile is cream. Now I favor white. Ahhhhh --- what's a girl to do? I'll figure it out.
I need to remember there is time. The major thing right now is to get out of that storage shed by the end of the month. A girl can buy a lot of buttons and treasures for $250. Oh yes, the goal is to save money, not spend it. My mind was full of duplicity there for a second.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Lunch with friends is a good thing.
Genes or Socialization --- what percentage of each makes one who they are?
I am leaning towards 2/3 Genes and 1/3 Socialization----up from my previous thoughts of 1/2 and 1/2
Understanding given our OWN circumstances, we are all doing the best we can do. Is this true? Do you think we are ALL doing the best we can do?
Flexible --- Are you flexible? Is it important to be flexible?
Rigid --- Are you rigid? Is this a bad thing?
Update as I am told --- not because I know for sure -- Well, some of it I know for sure but what Amber says I am not so sure about----
Michael Brandt, old friend of Amber's , called Randy to let him know Amber had texted him a couple of days ago her cancer was in remission--
Must be nice ---- treat your body with no respect --- treatment???? ---- and you are magically in remission.
Amber arrested for DUI last night. Bartender called the police after Amber left the prememis . ( Don't know what the situation was that caused bartender to call police ) Police stopped her. She started to refuse to breathe but was told her license would be automatically suspended for a year. She then did breathe. Arrested, car impounded, night in jail, released.
Message on Randy's cell from detective in Pinetop --- County Prosecutor is choosing to prosecute the house destruction case.
Amber is now not willing to give Maria temporary custody --- Imagine that---
Who knows what will happen or the best thing to happen or what anyone would want to happen ---- besides making this all be not what it is ---
We each approach it all in such different directions:
Randy and I
from a Mars and Venus outlook --
from a Grandfather and Grandmother outlook---
from broken hearted outlooks ---
from a father and mother outlook ---
from a husband and wife outlook ---
from an individual outlook---
and knowing, through it all, the most important of the couple outlooks above is our marriage outlook --- because we are the union --- because we fell in love with each other's individual outlooks.
Monday, July 20, 2009
It is Monday morning so I thought I would use a vocabulary word this morning to start off the week.
The trouble for my family is---
when the kidnapper is mental illness there is no ransom to be successfully payed .
I placed an order with Alice of Painted White. You can visit her blog here. I also placed an order with her husband and you can visit him, here. Anyway, the order has not come yet. Alice contacted me letting me know my tracking number and that she had used automated postage at the postal station and she had inadvertently used the wrong box for the kind of postage she paid. She was concerned about my order not reaching me. Well, forget Alice making a mistake. One of the perils of living in two places is where to have your mail sent. We now have our mail in the valley being forwarded to Pinetop. I had her mail my items to the valley---why didn't I just give her my Pinetop address, as it takes twice as long to get something. Ahhhh-- Anyway, upon tracking the item, it had indeed been marked undeliverable, as addressed. Carol Wingert also had this problem with a kit being delivered to me. I don't know if the post office will not forward packages or what the deal is. I need to look into this. For the purpose of this post, however, my thoughts lie elsewhere, in regards to this transaction with Alice. I responded to her concern by letting her know I was fine with whenever I received the package, that no one was in danger, so it was not a big deal and all would be just fine. Alice was ever so grateful for my understanding of her mistake. This back and forth communication over this issue got me thinking---- I try ( I certainly don't always do such but I do indeed try --- this is another post in and of itself! ) each and every day to live by the Golden Rule---It is my mantra in life. If this is the case, shouldn't it be my mantra for myself, as well? I have a feeling there are many others out there with this same structure. I tend to be kinder to strangers than I am to myself. Why is it alright for someone else to make a mistake and not be perfect but when I make a mistake it becomes magnified tenfold? Yes, I need to work on this. Do You?
Now, another thought. Why does the word should exist? I should do this, she should do that, He should, they should, we should----everybody and anybody should. Actually there are no shoulds. We either do it or we don't and we all make those decisions. Think about it--- No, I mean REALLY think about it. If we want to do something, somehow, someway, we find a way to do it. If we really don't want to do something, somehow, someway, we either find a way not to do it or we do it anyway. I am going to see if I can catch myself when I use the word should. This came to my mind today when I was emailing my friend Bonnie. She had written me, in regards to some possible plans for a trip, nothing comes easy. I wrote back that it seemed to me at our age things should come easier. Started me thinking about that little word should. How many shoulds do you have in your life vocabulary each day? Yep, I am going to be on the look out for that word "should" and try to banish it for awhile.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I was silent yesterday, as far as my posting was concerned.
I need to figure out how to underline on this blogger site when writing!
I could have named this post Skinny Saturday - not because I dieted or felt skinny but because Randy and I went skinny dipping in our pool. Don't try to picture this in your mind. It is not a pretty site but boy does it ever feel wonderful. I never went skinny dipping when I was young. It is another great thing about getting old, having a pool, and living in hot AZ. We wait till the sun goes down so we will not get sunburned.
I also could have named this post Sloshed Saturday - Whilst we were skinny dipping we had cocktails in the pool. Rum and Coke for hubby, Cosmopolitans for me. We took turns getting out of the pool to make drink refill runs. My martini glasses I have in the valley are quite small but Randy kept up with me. We did not have to drive anywhere to eat so getting sloshed was safe. We were having left over pizza from Vitos.
Alright, need to plug another restaurant for the locals. Vitos is located at the SE corner of McKellops and LIndsey Road. Vitos pizza is absolutely the best thin type crust pizza you will ever eat in your life.I don't care where you currently live. Expensive but the best. We get white pizza with sausage, pepperoni and garlic. You do not want to be going to the dentist the day after eating this pizza---you will be breathing garlic for at least a couple of days and it is so worth it. Seems like I have posted about this pizza before. Sorry, is another hazard about getting older.
Let's go back to the sloshed part of the post. I am looking forward to hearing what Randy thinks today about the decision we made last night. We had earlier said if the house did not sell this summer we were taking it off the market. Last night we decided to take it off the market , now, like today! That is the latest thought process. We will do a little at a time on what needs to be repaired and changes made to the house.
Our new stainless steal, refrigerator is being delivered tomorrow, Monday. I did not want it delivered on the weekend because there was an additional $10.00 delivery charge. Last night Randy was laughing at me, in the pool, yes, while we were sloshed, about not paying the $10.00. I told him it is one of the reasons we are pretty good with money. That old thing about a 100 pennies being worth a $1.00. Sideline entry about this topic. I never understood either, in the old days, why someone would call long distance, during the middle of the day, when it was the most expensive time to call someone. The same minutes cost about half during later hours which meant you either saved half the bill or you could talk twice as long. My mother's teachings kicking in here, folks. Randy's family, however, was the opposite. They picked up the phone whenever they wanted to talk to someone, day or night, made no difference. There thinking was convenience. Convenience was a big part of Randy's learning's. When I first met him he bought his deodorant and toiletries at the local Circle K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While I could not believe it, I am now certain there are plenty of others out there that convenience is worth much more than saving the difference in $$.
What about you and your family?
Oh Yes, back to the original story concerning getting the refrigerator delivered on the weekend. You know we were down to only having the bar refrigerator to use. Both the inside refrigerator and the garage refrigerator had gone dead.
Well, guess what ---- Yesterday, the door fell off the bar refrigerator! Yep, just fell right off when I opened it to get some water. Randy did get it put back on but it is broken. We have to be very careful every time we open it. I mean very careful. So, maybe the $10.00 would have been worth it, this time, but how was I to know? I still say saving the $10.00 is worth the trouble. I think Randy disagrees.
Every time we purchase new appliances we buy shoes. Randy pointed this out to me also, on Friday. We only go to Sears when we are purchasing appliances. Truly, it is the only time we go through the doors. There shoe department is positioned such that one goes right past it on the way to the escalator. He always sees shoes he wants and this gets me looking. He thinks there shoe department is wisely placed.
My husband,never and I mean never goes shopping just for clothes. Any clothes he purchases are an afterthought because he is actually shopping for something else. This is why most of his clothes are from places like Costco or Sam's Club. Home Depot, Lowe's, and Ace Hardware should start carrying clothes. I wonder how many other men are just like Randy? Alright girls out there---Do your husbands shop for clothes?
Well, this Sunday morning is certainly not Silent.
One last thing to share. We were in the local small True Value Hardware store yesterday. Randy was getting some plumbing items to hook up the water line to the fridge when it is delivered. While he was finding the items he needed I got hooked at the front of the store. There was a cute electric bicycle. I read all about it and then the young, cute, manager saw me looking at it and he came over to give me his spiel. I must admit, I wanted one. It looked like FUN!!!! No license, no registration, sidewalk legal, goes 20 miles an hour and cost less than a penny a mile to operate. It plugs into a regular outlet to charge but you can also get a solar panel. If you want to pedal you can and this charges the battery, as well. Don't think this item is high on the priority list but maybe someday I will have saved enough of those $10.00 that I will splurge on one. Oh, just in case you are wondering. $895. is the cost but they are on sale right now for $795.
Friday, July 17, 2009
This Friday I am having a hard time remembering when the wishing well looked like this!
I remember when Fridays were my favorite day of the week. That was when I taught school and Fridays meant it was the beginning of the weekend. These days it doesn't much matter to me what day of the week it is. LOVE this aspect of my life. There are wonderful things about getting old - like not having a time clocked job.
I remember when Fridays were my favorite day of the week. That was when I taught school and Fridays meant it was the beginning of the weekend. These days it doesn't much matter to me what day of the week it is. LOVE this aspect of my life. There are wonderful things about getting old - like not having a time clocked job.
This Friday we bought a refrigerator. Yes! Last time we were in the valley it was a bed. This time a refrigerator. We will actually have a place to keep cold food. Oops, does this mean there will be cooking going on again?
This Friday Maria and Chandler, along with his cousin and am not sure who else, is at the Scottsdale resort time share for the week we gave them. I hope they have a blast this week.
This Friday, instead of sand between my toes and Margarita in hand, we are in the valley house and I am sipping on a glass of red wine. The temperature gage in the car read 118 degrees today. It usually runs about three degrees hotter than the outside temperature. Have not watched the news to see the recorded high today but folks, trust me, it is hot. As we Arizonans like to say over and over again though, it is a dry heat! Dry or wet, it is hot. So why are we not up in Pinetop???? Well, we have to get the fridge delivered on Monday and the only mason person we have been able to find to work on fixing the brick work on the pool is in Alpine for the weekend. Alpine is actually further than Pinetop so he definitely knows where to be instead of the valley this weekend. Smile. He will not be back to take a look at the job until Tuesday. We absolutely cannot leave until this is in the works of being fixed.
This Friday I would love to say I am not thinking about anything but happy thoughts. I could say it but it would not be true. My heart grieves for my daughter. It was a year ago this month that both our families were on vacation together.
This Friday I made airline reservations to travel to TN for some girls time. My sweet husband has agreed to take care of getting Chandler's braces off and being there for him to start school while I am gone.
This Friday we have had, as usual, numerous conversations about the best thing to do with our valley house. We are no further along to having the right answer but I am sure that is because there is no right answer.
This Friday we went to our favorite yogurt shop for lunch. Mesa Frozen Yogurt, if you are a local and have not had their yogurt, check it out. It is at the corner of Southern and Gilbert Road, in the S.W. shopping center. Tell Nan, the owner, CeCe sent you.
This Friday I am hoping my dad is having a lovely time with the friends he is visiting in S. C.
This Friday I am grateful for my friends around the globe and wondering what is going on with your Friday. Whatever it is, I hope that Saturday turns out to be sunny for you but with a touch of rain to make a perfect balance for a Sweet Saturday.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
No Vacation: All packed, was about to head to valley on Tuesday. Decided I best print out reservations---
What? No reservations to be found on my computer--- call R.C.I. to ask them to send it to me via email again, thinking I have accidentally deleted them
Nope---- NO RECORD of the reservation. First time EVER that this has happened to me----owned time shares for a very long time.
I KNOW these reservations were made.
I KNOW it like I KNOW so many things but that means do I KNOW it at all?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh---- as my hubby said, a crisis probably happened right after me making them and I never checked to see that we had received confirmation, etc. Oh Well, at least we had not paid for expensive plane tickets. At least the kids had not jumped through rings and hoops to get Passports to go to Mexico only to find out there was no vacation to be had there.
Now, as if that wasn't bizarre enough---
Hairdresser had a child and so my roots have not been colored for about six weeks. Said hairdresser is a doll and was doing my hair before I went on vacation even though new little one was just born a couple of weeks ago.
Said hair dresser calls me yesterday to make sure I have gotten her message left the day before. Message is she had broken her ankle and cannot stand!!!!!!!! Now this is a sweet lady that has six children--- she was concerned about me and my hair---
I debated whether to call this post Talkative Thursday or Thankful Thursday. Maria's mother is a hairdresser. I totally spaced this until I walked in the home door after the phone call from hairdresser and told Randy about the broken ankle. I told him he was going to have to color my roots. He then informed me he was not a licensed hairdresser and why didn't I call Elaine? Well, hubby, YES--- gained some points----- GREAT IDEA!!!!! Yes, she worked me in and my roots are colored!!!!!!!!
I have more to talk about---
Took 87 year old dad to airport and got him situated to fly to S.C. to see his boyhood best friend. Ahhhhhhhhhh--- ordeal to say the least. Bless him. He is SO deaf now due to serving our country, being a pilot and having bombs go off, etc. Will not elaborate more about that particular fan fare. Will give you a hint as to how I grew up with not one but two perfectionist parents.
Think I told you in an earlier post I brought my mom's Volvo home to store in our garage so my dad could park his jeep inside his garage. When you live in the valley of the sun in AZ this is a very important option---to park your vehicle out of the sun. Well, when we are leaving to take him out to eat last night ( we have to go in his jeep because it is too difficult for him to climb into our Avalanche. Anyway, he has a car cover in the garage sitting on top of his MG. He suggested we take it home and put it on the Volvo. My response was, "Dad, the Volvo is not parked out side. It is in the garage." " I know," he responds, "but it gets dust on it in the garage." O.K. dad, so it gets a little dust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh--- also found a breakfast roll left on counter, and some other things that were disturbing to a daughter and son-in-law, inside the house, but by golly, he is NOT moving out of that house---- Alright dad. Alright. We just keep telling ourselves, "IT IS ALRIGHT! Your choice and you have a right to your choice, even if it is sad, sad, sad to us. Really and Truly, it is OUR problem with our worries for him.
Good News--- he flew first class and he made it just fine. I hope he has a great time. He and Bike ( what his friend is called --- real name is Bynum) have been best friends since they were little boys. They played baseball on the same village team. Have I told you the story about how my dad met my mom???? Cute, so cute. My dad was the catcher and Bynum was the pitcher on the village team. My dad saw my mom, in the stands, and was looking at her instead of the ball Bike when the pitch came. Well, it hit my dad. I think it did something to my dad's brain or else my mom's beauty did as he pursued her ------ another cute story about that in the future, if I remember to tell it!!!
Let me see--- I guess I am wishing I had taken pictures of the bricks that are all off the top of our fence which hides the pool equipment. Seems Chandler and his little cousin, yesterday, decided to jump off the center post and jarred bricks loose. Messy--- more about this situation later, also, hopefully.
Well, I am about ready to go to sleep and dream of sand between my toes, margaritas and some more sand between my toes.
Beats all the work we see needs doing, on our valley home. This valley home sits amongst the scorching heat which makes one not want to be doing anything but hang out in the pool. Maybe we will do a little of that and maybe we will just go back to Pinetop where it is cool and beautiful right now. Isn't that a vacation in and of itself?
Alright, am talkative and could go on and on but till the next time we meet hoping all of your talk is of the happy variety!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Yesterday, 7/11 was our anniversary. My husband,upon returning from getting sanders from Home Depot, for the sanding of our deck, came in the bathroom and gave me the below card and flowers ( scroll on down ) and told me Happy Anniversary.
I, not too enthusiastically, said Thank You and placed the unopened card flat on the dresser, left the flowers in the bathroom sink, with no water and left the room. I went upstairs to work in my studio.
What prompted this action on my part?
Day before yesterday at the end of my post I told you there were developments still in the making. Those of you that read my blog regularly know that Maria and Randy earlier on wanted to give Amber cash. I was adamantly opposed.
Back to day before yesterday-
Recall Maria had allowed Amber to spend the night at the house
I won't go into all of my ranting and raving again---- but I will tell you ,which I left out of that post, another telling conversation with Maria. On the phone she told us ( we have a speaker phone ) she thought if we gave Amber the money she would leave everyone alone and she would give Maria custody. Oh My.
Well, Randy was as upset as I was but he got it in his head to just go over there, give Amber $1500. tell her never to call us again, and to tell Maria we were done parenting. If she was involving Amber in such a way, getting custody of Chandler was her responsibility and until she did so we were going to be just grandparents. When she got custody to let us know and we would readdress our role in the matter.
Well, that is just what he did. He went over there, laid $1,500. cash on the table, gave his short little speech and he left. He came home, made a rum and coke and went out on the porch to tell me what he had done. He felt better.
Well, guess what
A good night's rest and I felt the same-thus the flowers left in the sink and the card unopened.
Later in the day, when he had gone to return the floor sanders since they were overheating, I came down to get a bottle of water. There on the kitchen counter were the flowers placed in the vintage pitcher. He had taken care of them. He had propped my card up in the bathroom, as you see it in the picture. I have to admit it did touch my heart. He really is a dear. I still, though, was reeling with the ??? I need a vocabulary word here!
So upset that he just handed Amber $1500. cash and he actually is thinking she will never call us again. Not to mention my thoughts about our Chandler----Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh---
All day I worked in my studio.
Mell, one of the friends in the picture of everyone at The Orchard called to see if Randy wanted to go fishing in the morning. Mell and his wife Tara had just arrived at Maria and Chandlers. Randy, Chandler and Mell are fishing pals. Honestly, if Mell could he would live on the boat. I could overhear them making their plans and I was somewhat relieved that Randy would be with Chandler this morning. Randy had not seen him the day before when he had marched over to their house.
Fast forward to early evening.
I came down from the studio and decided to talk. It is the way I often handle anger. I stew and brew in my head until I am ready to deal. If one looks closely, when I am in one of these states, I am pretty sure one could see smoke rising from the pores in my head. Picture one of the old fashioned caps for hair frosting. Picture smoke coming out of every single, little hole!
Randy brought around two of the outside chairs to the deck. They have been moved, of course, for the sanding. With happy hour drinks in hand we sit. We sit. We sit. We sit. We sit.
We sort of talk.
We start out with him telling me about the fishing trip in the morning.
He then tells me when he took the sanders back, he stopped by Maria's to take paint cloths back to her and to get his drill. Maria's dad had borrowed it while up here helping out with the house.
Randy proceeded to tell me Amber was still at the house.
Maria told Randy Amber is really sick and she has hit rock bottom.
Yeah, well sure---
Randy, once again told Maria Amber is still the same person she was and what does she think this is doing to Chandler?
Not a thing, is Maria's reply, Chandler is fine.,
Maria told Randy, Amber and she are going to pitch in together and buy Chandler a new Wii.
Randy told her it didn't sound very smart to him since neither of them have the funds to be buying a Wii.
Ugh, excuse me, Amber is homeless.
Ugh, excuse me. what happened to Maria ?
Did she ever really have any good sense?
Amazing, Amazing, Amazing.
Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
Sorry, Sorry, Sorry,
I guess a lot of people grow up just fine being raised by stupid people.
I don't know.
It worries me a GREAT deal for Chandler.
Seems to me we need to be the ones trying to get custody of this child--
the results of us raising Amber certainly don't speak very highly for our parenting skills
( Amber made some early on choices that actually caused the system, and the streets, to do most of her raising during her teenage years---and before she was eight years old, Randy was not around so he cannot be blamed for any of her plight.)
my husband and I are not on the same page.
He wants so badly to just be a grandparent and not a parent.
I want the same as he but feel like Chandler needs more--
I want so badly to know the best thing for---
I would say Chandler but I love my husband too.
I think I can honestly say we are both distraught over this whole affair but it is not because of the absence of our daughter.
Well, the two guys I love are fishing together right this minute and that is a good thing.
Yesterday, early in the morning, the sanding of our deck began. Randy rented two upright sanders to be used. After overheating several times they were returned to Home Depot. The workers asked him to rent Drum sanders but Randy was told Drum sanders are for hard wood and they would tear our deck to pieces. All of this means that the deck is being sanded with hand sanders which require being on one's knees or bending over. Not the kind of work I would want to be doing. Our worker bees are worker bees though. Eight hours of labor produced almost half the deck being done. The balcony I am sitting on, as I type this, must still be sanded and all of the steps---
Still to be Done
Completed part of Sanding
Thought you might like a glimpse at some of the newly painted rooms in Chandler's house. Paint can do wonders to wipe out ugly. Too bad it can't cover up scars of the heart.
Last Wednesday night we gathered at the Orchard for my favorite summertime place to eat and drink.
The Orchard showing it's Patriotic Colors
Great Live Entertainment Starts at Five on Wednesday's
The sweet dogie stayed right at their feet.
Our Personal Group Enjoying The Perfect Outside Conditions
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Thought it would be nice for you to see some lovely eye candy French vocabulary words, for a change.
Not only that, but when you follow the link here, you are going to be able to enter a lovely giveaway and find a beautiful new site to visit. Enjoy and have an inspired kind of day.
After all, as I am reminded here, everyday holds the possibility of a miracle.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Oh Boy---read the sentence. How I wish we even knew what the most feasible plan is to adopt!
Nothing we come up with seems to be capable of being done or practicable!
1. We picked up Maria and went to appointment with head of CPS yesterday morning at eleven. We were armed with as many facts as possible, court papers about Amber's cases and the pictures of the house before it was painted.
2. She called the hot line for us to make a report . You will recall I had tried this on my on once before . She has a friend that works on the hot line but her friend was out of town and not working the line right now so she was going to call her when she is back to work. Why is she doing this? Because I got the same exact response this time as last time. Karen, CPS lady got so frustrated with the woman I was talking to she almost hung up on her---quite frankly, I think the woman on the phone was just following policy. I have figured out that they take your case if the child is in imminent serious danger or has an immediate medical need and there is no one with authority to authorize the treatment.
3. She gave us paperwork for medical power of attorney and school power of attorney of which Karen said to try to get Amber to do first.
4. She gave us Temporary Custody Papers, told us we did not need to have the attorney do these. She told us we could fill out the paper work and to do this.
5. She told us she would not abandon us--that Chandler did not need to be going through life in fear that Amber was going to show up and take him. She gave us her cell phone number and told us to call if we had questions about the paperwork, even if it was on the weekend.
6. She suggests we might tell Amber we have contacted CPS, if she will not agree to the temporary custody, and tell her we will contact them again and they will get involved and it will end up in court.
6. There were some other things but for the purpose of this post I will leave it at this.
Maria was greatly encouraged, at the time, for it was the first time someone has said she could apply for custody.
Randy was prepared to study the paperwork more. There is more than one kind of temporary custody.
Guess it was my turn to be the downer. While it was nice to hear we are not being abandoned---just so tired of ----it all----
Court Case for felony and misdemeanor yesterday was to be at two o'clock---didn't happen-- rescheduled for the 23rd of July.
Amber shows up at Maria's and wants Maria to go with her to our house to discuss giving her money. Maria calls to tell us this---discuss what? Why does she go to Maria? Why doesn't she just call us directly, as Maria has told her to in the past? I can tell you why--- manipulation. Amber is talking over Maria, on the phone, so Maria asked Randy if he would talk to Amber. Randy talks to her. Amber wants him to pay $250. to one of her friends for Amber to stay there this month. She tells him she has heard from Homestead ( supplemental housing place to which she last claims to have applied ) and it will be 90 days before she can get an apartment. She proceeds to talk about medical problems--that she has this bug bite that has gotten infected, etc. etc. etc. Randy asked Amber to put Maria back on the phone. He told Maria we would call back. I told him to tell Maria to ask Amber to leave, that we were not making a decision right then. Randy asked Maria to make the arrangements with Amber to sign the medical power of attorney paper.
Amber told Maria she had to go back to the hospital to be checked. After going to the hospital she told Maria a culture taken shows she has a very serious staff infection ( I can't remember the name of it but we saw it featured on 60 minutes not too long ago --- this feature was about athlete's that get this particular staff infection . Anyway, Amber said she was given a shot, more than one kind of antibiotic and she has to be checked every day.
When Maria called to tell us about the staff infection she also let us know Amber was not willing to sign the Power Of Attorney paper as she thinks it will sever her rights to get him medical treatment if he is with her. ( And when is he with her I ask? )I told Maria that is not the case---it just means Maria is added as being someone able to do this. Randy also told Maria he would call Karen in the morning to make sure this was the case.
All night, AGAIN, we spend our time trying to figure out a feasible course of action. Randy and I decide we will pay her $1500. which is what is remaining of the $2500. since she already cashed one of the money orders earlier and we paid $500., in paint, for the house to be repainted. The money will be doled out in the form of paying rent for a place to stay until the $1500. is gone. Randy wants Amber to sign a form stating she will not contact us again about money, or anything else. ( Truthfully, it is a little humorous to me that he thinks her signing anything holds any weight. )
Well-- Fast Forward to this morning. Randy called Karen to make sure what I said was correct concerning the Medical power of attorney. Karen confirmed my assessment. Randy called Maria to tell her what we had decided , etc.
Randy told Maria what we had decided. Maria then told Randy Amber could no longer stay with Erica because her infection is so contagious and Erica has children. THEN Maria tells Randy that Amber has come to the house the night before about ten o'clock and has no place to stay. Maria feels sorry for her and lets her spend the night, at the house. Randy got off the phone to fill me in and then--
Randy and I both took our allotted portion of xanax and proceeded to hash, hash, cuss, cuss, bash, bash, scream, scream ( even though the screaming was not vocal --- just our insides screaming )
Frustration , Frustration, Frustration---not only do we fight the system---- WHAT IS MARIA THINKING?
What about Chandler? He is a child.
What did she file a report for when Amber came to the house when they were not home and took the dogs?
What about being done with Amber?
I could go on and on with the what abouts--
Seems to me Maria's decision making skills are not those of a good parent.
Right this minute, we are done with Maria's doneness.
( I know doneness is not a word but I like it here! )
Randy is absolutely beside himself.
Another segment of this story is in the makes, as I type this, but too much to post in one session. I will leave you hanging with the vocabulary word feasible---
There seems to be no feasible solution to this situation, at the moment.
I am beginning to wonder about the feasibility of it ever being solved.