Sunday, August 30, 2009

Missing In Action

I just looked at the date and it appears it has been a week since I have posted. It seems I have been missing in action. NOW---there is the true word---action. It isn't that nothing has been happening. Unfortunately this is not the case. I know this all sounds like a tease and I truly do not mean for it to. I just am sort of in a quandary, at the moment, about what to post. I am taking a break until I can figure some things out and deal with some issues with people in my life that I know have friends and loved ones that read my posts. It has been a rough week for me and it is one of those times I wish I was Missing----hum, back to the beach???? I wish-----Maybe in my dreams tonight--- hope your dreams are happy ones and thanks for checking in on me. I do love your thoughts.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I Get By With A LIttle Help From My Friends and My Counselor

Two steps forward and one step back---at least it means I am still moving forward.
Counseling on Friday was very helpful, as usual. This time around the block with Amber's choices of destruction has been much more difficult than the teenage years. When she was young there was just her. Now there is this grandchild and his other mother. Much more complex and complicated. Randy and I have not always been on the same page in how to handle situations. I think you might have gathered this from time to time --- what with the anniversary flowers being left in the sink. Well.... not that things are totally solved ( are they ever?! Smile )but I do get by with a little help from my friends and this time in particular from my counselor.
It is amazing what an other's trained in site can show one and also amazing what a little praise can do for one's attitude and getting things into perspective. Our life is indeed complex with what is involved. And yes, it has been very difficult with choices being made for Randy to stay true to himself and for me to stay true to myself and stay true to our union as husband and wife. At the end of our session, our dear counselor quietly told us we were to be commended for always in the past doing everything in our power to get it right and going above and beyond the call of duty in dealing with our issues. He reminded us of this and brought my focus back to the center of where it needed to be. Yes, it takes compromises on my part and yes, compromises on my husband's part but it does feel good to know we are both committed to each other and OUR relationship. 
If you are in the Phoenix, AZ area, his name is Gordon Cuddeby and I highly recommend him. 

The above was the two steps forward.

On Friday afternoon, as we were heading to the show when Maria called to let us know she had gotten a call from the clerk at the court. The clerk had heard over the police radio that Amber had been picked up in Showlow. Showlow and Pinetop are towns that are side by side. Showlow was the place the DUI took place. Since it is the weekend, there are no other details to be had.

The below is my one step backwards.

While I was in Florida, at some point, I had a message from Maria telling me she had a question. There was not an indication or an urgency in her voice that this question was pressing.
Upon returning home Randy told me Maria was having a garage sale to sell some of the large items belonging to Amber which were in the garage. It seems the 60 days had expired for Amber to get her things so all of Amber's things now belong to Maria. Some time ago Maria had told me she was not going to immediately sell Amber's things. When I left town I did not know the plan had changed. Randy and Elaine, Maria's mother, told me Maria needed my help in pricing some of the things that were vintage items for a future garage sale. When we got out of the show I called her and left her a message saying I would help her with this when I returned.
Saturday morning Maria called concerning some of Amber's things wanting to know how to price them. People were there waiting for prices. The things she called about were not the large items that Randy had been told were being sold. They were smalls and things I had not been given a chance to go through and decide what I would want to keep myself or give my friends the opportunity to buy before they were sold in a yard sale to the general public. I have been the strongest link, of the family group, when dealing with Amber and making her be responsible for her actions. This in no way however makes it easy for me to have her life items---many of which were bought for her by me---sold before I could be involved. Randy told me again he had thought it was only big items that Maria knew we did not want that was being sold yesterday. I shared my hurt with Maria yesterday morning on the phone and she told me she had to go. I in no way think Maria would be hurtful to me on purpose. I do however think it was insensitive to take this course of action before I returned. I am hoping to take another two steps forward soon. This path is slow moving as stones tend to get thrown along the path. Gratefully I know they are nothing that can not be stepped over-
As I said earlier-- I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends and My Counselor

Friday, August 21, 2009

Amber Reared Her Ugly Head Again

On Tuesday of this week Amber reared her ugly head again. 
Her head used to be so beautiful or was it just an illusion?

Anyway, out of nowhere she texted Maria she was leaving the state and she was taking Chandler with her.
Maria texted her back telling her she was not taking Chandler because Maria had custody now and there were warrants out for Amber's arrest.
As I understand it, Amber replied warrants did not go across state lines and she had not been served with papers about Chandler.
We have been informed warrants do cross state lines.
Maria called the school and put them on alert and then called the detective. After school police were sent to the school to make sure Chandler got on the bus safely and to be there to arrest Amber if she showed up.
Grandy picked Chandler up at the bus stop in our neighborhood. He has a little walk to our house. Grandy normally only picks him up when it is raining. The weather was beautiful that day. Chandler asked Grandy why he came to pick him up. After Grandy explained what was going on Chandler once again amazed us with this comment. I am not putting it in quotes as I am not positive of his exact words. Well, the tables are turned around this time because we can call the police on her!
To my knowledge Amber has since not been heard from.

Grandy is on his way to the valley as I type this. We have an appointment with Gordon, our counselor, at ten this morning.
I constantly recommend counseling so it is important that I take my own advice. It always amazes me that most of us will go to the Dr. if we have a physical ailment but we choose not to seek help for the mental ailments. It is my opinion the mental is closely linked to the physical. Well, anyway, going for a booster shot today. 
I am well rested now and feeling better. I worked on the last of my September packaging yesterday and will spend the weekend working on October packaging. 
I turned the television on last night for the first time since I left town to go to TN. I wanted to watch it while I ate my very greasy chips with cheese and guacamole from a favorite Mexican fast food place. It wouldn't come on. I was getting frustrated to no end so I just ate my chips and looked at a publication.Later I called Grandy to get directions to operate it. Used to be there was a power button one pushed and the television was on. Not now though, Oh my, what it takes just to turn on the television.It has been glorious not to have it on for so long. Don't know what it is with women and men but from my observation most men would be quite lost without the television and women, for the most part, would do just fine. 
I guess I better go change my head by putting my face on with base, blush, powder, eye shadow, etc. Wish I could apply some of this makeup to Amber's face and make her beautiful again. Problem is, there is that mental thing. Do you remember the saying, beauty is only skin deep? I think our mom's knew what they were talking about. 

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Do you recognize the shade topper? It is a vintage crocheted collar for a blouse or dress. Am loving it on the lamp shade. This idea came from my friend Bonnie, who gave me two of these beauties for my birthday.

Going Home

I’m on the airplane flying to Denver. From Denver I will go home to Phoenix. I would love to say I am rested and renewed. I know all to well, however, this is not the case. Not because my friends were not supportive. They were more than that actually. Suzanne always is and as I learned from this time with Scottye, she too is a friend to appreciate. The truth is I am better than when I arrived but as I said good bye to Suzanne, at the airport, an overwhelming sense of sorrow washed over my body. Tears welled in my eyes and try as I may to squelch them, as I type this, they are still about to brim over and embarrass me. I have all kinds of precious pictures of the three of us on our beach excursion. We each created books to hold these pictures depicting our joyous times. Joyous most of the time was. Laughter was more often than not in the air. I did not realize I was still in such a fragile state.  Over two weeks ago I did not want to go to TN but I did not want to stay in AZ either. I just simply wanted to curl up, all by myself, and be... just be... all alone... no one to answer to, no one to converse with, no one to explain myself to, no one with which to have to share my thoughts. I do not feel this way often. I am not worried about myself so you should not worry about me either. I am just accepting my emotions and writing them down to confirm they exist and also knowing they will be gone again. You see, this is one thing of which I am sure. It is comforting to know this. It is peaceful albeit painful to understand this is MY journey and I am most certainly the only person I am capable of changing--- not my husband, not my daughter, not my friends, not my enemies ( those would be the women at the beach that flipped me off or gave me dirty looks because they did not like my driving ) -- no one but myself. Oh how much easier it would be if I could just change others. Smile. How much easier it would be if I could just make everyone else be who I want them to be. But, as a human, if I had this capability, wouldn’t others also be able to change me? I wonder how each person in my life would choose to change me. I wonder if they would change me in the way I would want to change them. You see, we all want something to be different. Life would be so much easier if we did not have expectations. It is a struggle not to have expectations--of others or ourselves. Luckily, I am far enough down this life path to have learned flipping someone off changes nothing ---- however----sometimes----yes, sometimes, it sure feels good! So, here is to the woman that flipped me off, here’s to my tears and here’s to the laughter that is yet to come.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Beach Friday

Just spent about three hours this morning at the beach. I awoke at six and stayed up. I quickly gathered a cup of coffee, quilt, some cheese it crackers, a new book and off I headed. I had most of the beach to myself. It was lovely. I needed the walk and I needed the ocean. Have not had enough beach time and it was a lovely time.

Yesterday we stayed home and played on the computer. Both Scottye and Suzanne are writers or rather should be so I spent the day getting them set up with blogs ---- Not wonderfully designed ones,but blogs none the less. I am hoping to be the encouraging factor which releases all they have to say to the world. You can read Scottye's first post here. If you like it would you please leave her a comment?  I know how pleasing it is to receive comments. Once Suzanne posts I will link to her as well. We have a little more work to do on her site today.

I am now on the porch with my second cup of coffee. Suzanne was heading out to the beach as I came home. Scottye is still in bed or her room enjoying some quiet time. Today we plan to buy a memory stick so we can get our pictures of the trip printed and complete our beach books we have been creating. 

Chandler is doing well so far in school and Randy has been working on finishing the trim on our deck. He told me it rained almost all day yesterday in Pinetop and it was actually 50 degrees at one point! Yikes, unreal to me.

I do hope each of you has a sense of the ocean air and the sand between your toes, if it is only in your imagination. I know of nothing more healing. Kind Hugs, CeCe

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Wordless Wednesday Posted on Thursday So That Must Mean I Can Use Words

Scottye and Jerry
Thom and Suzanne

I just posted these pictures as Wordless Wednesday and saw the date to actually be Thursday!
This must mean I am relaxed.
So, since it is actually not Wordless Wednesday I have added some words to the post!
My girlfriends had their husbands in town for the weekend and had their pictures made with them. Since mine was back in AZ holding down the fort I had my picture made with my cell phone!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Heres to Celebrating Life

Suzi, Scotty and Me toasting to our beach retreat time!
Nightly drinks on the beach!
Florida time has been wonderful so far-
We have eaten some incredible food at restaurants and at home. On the way down we stopped at a market and got all kinds of fresh produce and fabulous peaches.
We are making a beautiful white book to record our holiday. I ordered these kits almost a year ago from Carol Wingert. Oh so pretty. I will share pictures later.
I do hope you are having as nice a time as I have been having this past week. 
Below is an update on the drama part of my life.

Car Recovered:
  Saturday, while antiquing, Randy called with the good news about Maria's car. It was recovered in the driveway of a rental house. The owner of the house must have gone by to check on the house, which I think was empty at the time. Upon finding the car in the driveway he was able to get inside it through a window. He rummaged around and found a receipt with a phone number belonging to Maria's nephew. Calls were made and eventually Maria had the police go with her to retrieve the car. Randy said it was in good condition. There were some of Amber's clothes still in the back of the car, some keys, but no car key. Maria had an extra car key. The police told Maria, the house where the car was left had been at one  time a meth house. They also told Maria the gentleman that Amber was now hanging out with is a meth dealer. Don't ask me why if this is the case he is not in jail--------have no answers. Bottom line is, car is back, Maria has custody of Chandler at the moment and we are grateful.
  Amber has court today for her DUI. We will see if she shows up for court.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Quick Update

I have some pictures to post but it is time to walk on the beach so I must get going. Will just post this good news post update concerning Chandler.

  Finally some good news about Chandler and Maria -
  She went to court in Holbrook before a judge and was granted temporary custody. This custody is for 60 days. She has to try to have Amber served and she has to post it in the newspaper. Amber will have to appear in court on the review date if she wants to regain custody. We are all, of course, thrilled that there is no more threats about taking him. Randy has copies of all the legal paper work.
  Chandler started school on Thursday of last week and he likes his teacher and has seemed just fine when I have spoken to him. In fact, he told me I did not ever need to come home, that he and Grandy were doing just fine without me. Grandy said he did not totally agree with Chandler's assessment. Chandler likes to tease. I think it is good they are having some time together alone. Grandy asked Chandler how he was doing so well with the situation and his answer was simple. He said he just did not think about it. He thought about things he was excited about -- going back to school, etc. Grandy told Maria maybe we should all be learning from Chandler!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

I am kicking myself all over again this morning. It seems to be  a favorite pass time --- this kicking of myself. I am longing for my camera. I borrowed Thom's camera and I did take some pictures yesterday but now I am having trouble getting them from his camera to my computer so I am picture less. Maybe I should title this post Picture less Tuesday. Anyway, I am sitting on the porch, in the swing, with time to chat so I am chatting away. I will be posting pictures at some point come hell or high water!
  Yesterday Suzi, her friend Barbara, and I headed out for Crossville, TN to start yard saleing. While the official 100 ( which has now grown to more like 400) mile yard sale starts this Thursday, many set up early. It was a lovely day. We took homemade pimento cheese sandwiches, along with homegrown tomatoes for our lunch. I bought one item but am grieving over a few things I left behind. A yellow chenille spread and some vintage spools. Ahhhhh--- why didn't I just go on and buy them?! Again, I could kick myself. BUT I did get a treasure. I have taken a picture and I will get it posted come hell or high water!!!! It is a tiny picture that will fit in my pocket it is so little. I am trying to think little this trip since there is no truck here for me to drive back and I already brought two full suit cases. The picture is cottage and beautiful. I adore it and if I had to choose one thing for yesterday it would be this one thing I bought so I am going to concentrate on the happiness of purchasing it the moment I saw it. $6.00--I would have paid up to $20. so I am most happy.

Suzanne's car is at the shop being fixed as I write this. I am not sure if we are heading out for Florida later today or if we are waiting till in the morning. Either is just hunky dory with me.I think I could live on this front porch, with all my latest magazines, for a week. 

Now-update on the little tidbit I threw in on Sunday's post about Maria's car.
Unfortunately ( and that is being overly kind, on my part, in my description of this incident) last Thursday Maria allowed Amber to use her car to take Chandler and a friend to the lake. Unbelievable, I know. Here Maria is, letting Amber, just arrested for extreme DUI and had her license suspended, have her car to drive with two children. Well, when Maria came home from work she asked the boys where mommy Amber was. Chandler told Maria that Amber had dropped them off at home and said she would be back in about an hour. Well, she never came back. Maria called the police but of course since she had told Amber she could use the car she could not file a report. 

Fast forward to yesterday, Monday. From what I understand,Maria was with a friend and they happened to see Amber at Conoco, filling up the gas tank. Maria and Tara pulled in and Maria jumped out of the car. She went over to Amber and Amber told her she was just filling the car up with gas so she could bring the car back to her. Yeah, right. Seems then that Amber and Maria fought over the car keys, Amber won, jumped in the car and sped off. Seems Maria's arm was in the car as Amber started tearing out of the gas station and Tara called 911. Police came but Amber got away. The police told Maria it would be up to the county prosecutor whether to press charges or not. It would certainly seem to me that this time it would be a crime since there was not permission given for Amber to take the car? Randy was upset that Maria had not just sat down in the driver's seat so the car could not be taken but I have certainly been in some frantic emotional situations in my life and when one is in the midst of those moments thought processes are not as they should be. Why Maria continues to put make decisions which put hersef in the middle of this drama is rediculous at best.
Grandy has Chandler since he had his braces removed yesterday. Chandler asked Grandy what was going on when he heard Grandy talking to Maria on the phone. Grandy told Chandler the latest happenings and mentioned that we had all thought Amber had possibly left the state. Chandler then proceeded to tell Grandy in a nutshell the following:
1. She would not be leaving the area because
2. of the way she acted at the lake
3.Chandler thinks Amber is staying with a man named Glen
4. Glen had been at the lake
5. Chandler thinks he knows the neighborhood where Glen lives
6. Chandler thinks Missy ( girl Amber duped about getting a 2 bedroom apartment) might know Glen and he knows Missy is looking for Amber too.
Grandy and Chandler are headed back to Pinetop today so we will see what conspires. 
Oh Me. Oh My--- so the latest drama story line continues. I will keep you posted as the news items come in--

You can just imagine our dismay at Maria's actions. As I posted some posts ago, now not only are we dealing with Amber but with an innocent eleven year old and Maria who seems to be making some very stupid choices. There, now that more aptly describes my thoughts about the matter. It reminds me of when Randy and I attended Tough Love meetings during Amber's teenage years and parents would be given advice about not being enablers. Some parents, week after week, would return to the meetings with the same old story-- they had enabled again. After awhile it became apparent that breath was being wasted trying to help these people. Now though, it is not a stranger that is playing this role. It is Chandler's other mother. 
With that I will stop this part of the post and end with a happier note. 

A lovely breeze is blowing. My hair is washed and clean and as I am slowly swinging I am looking at a meal bin with fresh picked tomatoes on top,daisies being dried for the seeds, gardening gloves and tool. I am off to make a picture of this delightful site to share with you later come hell or high water. Funny, I have not heard or used that saying in years. Must be something stirred from an earlier time.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Quick Sunday Catch Up

My Ruby birthstone in a vintage setting and cute little cherry appliques on the painted metal tray that the shop was using as a magnet board.
One of my collars placed upon a lamp shade. LOVE it!
One of two hand crocheted vintage collars with the entry tag into the state fair=see the 1929!!!!!
Birthday package set up at my table setting for class. The gloves were one set of two. The other set Bonnie has as they belonged to twin little girls.
Bonnie, Debra, Me, and Carol Wingert at class on Friday
We are standing in front of a wonderful ribbon holder Bonnie's husband made for me. It hangs on the backside of a door. I will hopefully show you better pictures of this later.

Much to tell---
Alas----too tired to tell it---
Wrote on the airplane and was going to copy and paste----
Forgot to save the document so it does not exist-----
Interesting flight----
One of those where I sat down right where I needed to sit---
Connected with two lovely ladies, mother and daughter---- 
Recent tragedy in their lives----
We shared stories----

I will cut to the jest of my earlier writing---
Amber took Maria's car last Thursday and has not been heard from since---
Could write a lot more about this one-------later-later-later-
Maria had to borrow my jeep left in Pinetop in order to meet Randy, in Payson, today with Chandler. 
Chandler's top braces come off tomorrow.

Tomorrow Suzanne and I are doing part of the 100 mile yard sale. 
Tuesday we head to Florida.
Not sure about posting. 
Already ticked at myself for not bringing my Nikon camera.
Have tiny camera in hand but am used to my Nikon even though I have learned nothing but point and shoot with it on automatic. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh--

Alright, going to bed. Posting today some pictures of my birthday presents and celebration.
I failed to get a picture at breakfast. My dear friend, Janice, joined us and she gave me fabulous gift certificates for Reflexology massages. My husband and I used a couple of them at the end of the day. If you have not gone to have this type of massage, give yourself a treat. Yum--you keep all of your clothes on and it is truly a treat.

 Hope you all are --- well, whatever it is you hope to be at the moment.