Friday, July 10, 2009

Feasible and Doneness

Oh Boy---read the sentence. How I wish we even knew what the most feasible plan is to adopt!

Nothing we come up with seems to be capable of being done or practicable!

1.  We picked up Maria and went to appointment with head of  CPS yesterday morning at eleven. We were armed with as many facts as possible, court papers about Amber's cases and the pictures of the house before it was painted. 
2. She called the hot line for us to make a report . You will recall I had tried this on my on once before . She has a friend that works on the hot line but her friend was out of town and not working the line right now so she was going to call her when she is back to work. Why is she doing this? Because I got the same exact response this time as last time. Karen, CPS lady got so frustrated with the woman I was talking to she almost hung up on her---quite frankly, I think the woman on the phone was just following policy. I have figured out that they take your case if the child is in imminent serious danger or has an immediate medical need and there is no one with authority to authorize the treatment.
3. She gave us paperwork for medical power of attorney and school power of attorney of which Karen said to try to get Amber to do first.
4. She gave us Temporary Custody Papers, told us we did not need to have the attorney do these. She told us we could fill out the paper work and to do this. 
5. She told us she would not abandon us--that Chandler did not need to be going through life in fear that Amber was going to show up and take him. She gave us her cell phone number and told us to call if we had questions about the paperwork, even if it was on the weekend.
6. She suggests we might tell Amber we have contacted CPS, if she will not agree to the temporary custody, and tell her we will contact them again and they will get involved and it will end up in court.
6. There were some other things but for the purpose of this post I will leave it at this.

Maria was greatly encouraged, at the time, for it was the first time someone has said she could apply for custody.
Randy was prepared to study the paperwork more. There is more than one kind of temporary custody.
Guess it was my turn to be the downer. While it was nice to hear we are not being abandoned---just so tired of ----it all----

Court Case for felony and misdemeanor yesterday was to be at two o'clock---didn't happen-- rescheduled for the 23rd of July.

Amber shows up at Maria's and wants Maria to go with her to our house to discuss giving her money. Maria calls to tell us this---discuss what?  Why does she go to Maria? Why doesn't she just call us directly, as Maria has told her to in the past? I can tell you why--- manipulation. Amber is talking over Maria, on the phone, so Maria asked Randy if he would talk to Amber. Randy talks to her. Amber wants him to pay $250. to one of her friends for Amber to stay there this month. She tells him she has heard from Homestead ( supplemental housing place to which she last claims to have applied )  and it will be 90 days before she can get an apartment. She proceeds to talk about medical problems--that she has this bug bite that has gotten infected, etc. etc. etc. Randy asked Amber to put Maria back on the phone. He told Maria we would call back. I told him to tell Maria to ask Amber to leave, that we were not making a decision right then. Randy asked Maria to make the arrangements with Amber to sign the medical power of attorney paper.

Amber told Maria she had to go back to the hospital to be checked. After going to the hospital she told Maria a culture taken shows she has a very serious staff infection ( I can't remember the name of it but we saw it featured on 60 minutes not too long ago --- this feature was about athlete's that get this particular staff infection . Anyway, Amber said she was given a shot, more than one kind of antibiotic and she has to be checked every day.

When Maria called to tell us about the staff infection she also let us know Amber was not willing to sign the Power Of Attorney paper as she thinks it will sever her rights to get him medical treatment if he is with her. ( And when is he with her I ask? )I told Maria that is not the case---it just means Maria is added as being someone able to do this. Randy also told Maria he would call Karen in the morning to make sure this was the case. 

All night, AGAIN, we spend our time trying to figure out a feasible course of action. Randy and I decide we will pay her $1500. which is what is remaining of the $2500. since she already cashed one of the money orders earlier and we paid $500., in paint, for the house to be repainted. The money will be doled out in the form of paying rent for a place to stay until the $1500. is gone. Randy wants Amber to sign a form stating she will not contact us again about money, or anything else. ( Truthfully, it is a little humorous to me that he thinks her signing anything holds any weight. )

Well-- Fast Forward to this morning. Randy called Karen to make sure what I said was correct concerning the Medical power of attorney. Karen confirmed my assessment. Randy called Maria to tell her what we had decided , etc. 


Randy told Maria what we had decided. Maria then told Randy Amber could no longer stay with Erica because her infection is so contagious and Erica has children. THEN Maria tells Randy that Amber has come to the house the night before about ten o'clock and has no place to stay. Maria feels sorry for her and lets her spend the night, at the house. Randy got off the phone to fill me in and then--
Randy and I both took our allotted portion of xanax and proceeded to hash, hash, cuss, cuss, bash, bash, scream, scream ( even though the screaming was not vocal --- just our insides screaming )
Frustration , Frustration, Frustration---not only do we fight the system----                                 WHAT IS MARIA THINKING?
                                What about Chandler? He is a child.
                                What did she file a report for when Amber came to the house when they were not home and took the dogs?
                                What about being done with Amber?
                                I could go on and on with the what abouts--
                                Seems to me Maria's decision making skills are not those of a good parent.
                               Right this minute, we are done with Maria's doneness.
                             ( I know doneness is not a word but I like it here! )
       Randy is absolutely beside himself.
Another segment of this story is in the makes, as I type this, but too much to post in one session.  I will leave you hanging with the vocabulary word feasible---
There seems to be no feasible solution to this situation, at the moment.
 I am beginning to wonder about the feasibility of it ever being solved.


1 comment:

Kim said...

It is feasible CeCe. This too shall pass. Hugs