Now here is a word I have never heard before. This morning as I was looking for the next word to post, I accidentally read injured instead of inured. I looked through all the definitions I had captured and nothing fit with injured. I then went back to look at the word again and discovered my mistake. INURED NOT INJURED-------I would have thought a word like inured meant looking deep inside oneself----

Well, here is the latest with us in regards to this journey we are on:

1. Another email from the real estate lady which forwarded something she had received from the person that made the ridiculous offer on our house. He is working on ??? not sure what--- getting a $100,000. and ????. In the email he mentioned then the sellers would be completely out of it. All we would have to agree on then was the price. Well, the price is going to be the hard one, if they really do make another offer. Funny, us human beings. Now that we decided to just keep the house for a few more years I am not even excited about hearing the offer. 

2. Yesterday, late afternoon, Amber texted Maria telling her to tell us she would sign over temporary custody of Chandler for the money. We assume she means the rest of the $2,500. she was going to get ( before she trashed the house and Maria had her evicted ) after she vacated the house. 

Her pretrial hearing for the felony and one of the misdemeanors is still scheduled for tomorrow at 2:00.

The attorney just called and left a message for us. He told us to call him. He had finally talked to Karen at Child Protective Services and he wanted to chat with us about her advice. Randy wants to talk to him about the custody thing with the money involved. Randy is taking a nap right now so I will have him call when he gets up.

I called Ria just now to find out if she had heard any more from Amber. Ria said Amber texted her about eleven, asking her if she had talked to us. Ria told her yes and she should call us. Ria also said Amber indicated she is planning to get in a two bedroom apartment with a friend and the friend's boyfriend. She said Amber said Chandler could just stay with her in her room. She told Ria she had been sleeping from couch to couch. 

Amber has not tried to contact us, as of yet.

We will see what the attorney says.

One would think we would have become inured to the goings on involving Amber but unfortunately that is not the case. 

Evening Update:

1. Appointment with Karen, Child Protective Services tomorrow morning at 11:00.

2. We talked to the attorney and he said not to touch the exchange of money with Amber regarding the custody thing---said legally it resembles slave trade and is NO! No! No! in the court system.

3. One would think I would have become inured to the feelings I am having but unfortunately that is not the case.

 

Vocabulary Word Erosive

There are many erosive things in life.

Some of them happen so slowly one is not even able to pinpoint the moment the results started. An example would be the many people who get a divorce. Divorce has often fascinated me. What happens? Weren't the two people in love at one time or why would they have gotten married in the first place? What eroded the way they felt about each other when they married?

I sometimes think the legal age for getting married should be raised to, say, about 30. It seems to me I was about 30 when I truly came into my own in terms of being an adult.

I also think perhaps it should be a requirement that people live together for a certain period of time before they marry--- a trial period maybe---say a year.

This concept brings to mind a funny little tidbit I remember. A former friend's daughter got engaged. Her mother, a woman around my age, let's say 62, for I will be 62 this month, wanted the couple to live together for awhile. The daughter and future son-in-law, however, wanted nothing to do with it. They did not want to live together until they were husband and wife. It tickled me because my parents, the older generation still living, thought like the daughter.

Well, anyway, this particular couple had a lovely wedding and the reception was great fun and now they are divorced.

I truly know this does not happen with all couples. I am just typing the keys to put in words what my mind is randomly thinking about this vocabulary word, erosive.

Mental abuse and physical abuse can be erosive to one's spirit.

In the same light as above, but in the opposite direction, I often ask myself what would make a human being stay in an abusive or mentally destructive relationship?

Self - hatred?

Was the self hatred always there or did it develop slowly over time leaving the person so wounded he or she did not have the energy or where with all to realize there is a different way to live. By staying does the person realize he or she  must take some responsibility for receiving the abuse?

As we age, many people's memory erodes. 

By using a pumice stone the erosion of the toilet bowl ring can be removed.

By being treated respectfully and with unconditional love the fear of trusting can be eroded.

By going to school, or studying on one's own, ignorance can be eroded.

By taking baby steps towards reaching a goal, the feeling of being overwhelmed by a large task at hand can be eroded.

By saying no to food, extra weight can be eroded.

By recognizing and replacing unhappy or sad thoughts when they come to mind, with happy thoughts, one can erode the practice of giving sad thoughts control over our minds.

I certainly know this. I also know it takes practice, practice, practice.  A friend of mine said in a recent discussion, sometimes she KNOWS what she should be doing to make herself feel better or differently, but at that particular moment, by golly, she doesn't want to do it. She just wants to wallow in the pain and the anger.  This is so human nature. It is alright. We all make mistakes . We all do things that are hurtful to others and others do things that are hurtful to us.

 For my life, it is important I just keep trying. 

For my life, I am ever so thankful I have the crutch of a higher power.

For my life,  I need my higher power to help me erode the unhappy and find the happy, by giving me the strength and support to choose to help myself ,when I am ready to do so.

The erosive power of misused alcohol and misused  drugs, used by my daughter, changed her and all who love her.

What about for your life?

Does something need eroding or do you need to stop the erosion?

Histrionic

I can remember the first time I ever heard this word. I guess I should say the first time I ever became aware of this word. I read it on a psychological evaluation of Amber. It was one of the many times she was evaluated during those teen years. The word has always been a very good descriptive word for her. Funny, though, this is the first time I have ever seen this definition. The definition I was given before was more of the sense of being dramatic, taking things to the extreme. Randy and I always thought she could have definitely been an actress  on the big screen. She has certainly been an actress in life. She craves attention and she is good at creating the necessary means in acquiring it.  

Yesterday afternoon, as we were leaving the valley to head back up to Pinetop, Randy pulled in a convenience store to buy gas. I glanced over at the curb, right outside the store. There was a woman, about Amber's age, I would say, sitting on the curb, with a paper sack by her side. Her hair was unruly, her clothes unkempt and she was barefoot. I saw another regular looking woman round the corner of the store and come talk to her. She seemed to be giving her advice, or that is what it looked like to me. Both women grasped hands and I could just tell it was something of that nature. The regular woman left and by that time we were ready to pull out also. Tears welled up in my eyes. Randy asked me what was wrong. There had been much activity at the little store. I am not sure he had even seen the woman. I told him, through broken, tattered words, about seeing the broken, tattered woman. It could have been Amber in her place. 

Quietly, but with force, Randy reminded me this lady might have abandoned her child, she might have stolen $10,000. from her parents, she might have, she might have, she might have. It reminded me about enabling. It reminded me there are shelters. It reminded me I know nothing about the circumstances of the woman on the curb. I could make up my own story about her. Perhaps she was not in trouble at all, but a reporter, acting in order to do research for a story.

Regardless, my heart ached once more for the brokenness of my daughter, for the brokenness of her family, regardless of the reasons or circumstances.

Sometimes life is experiencing a broken heart and knowing there are other stories to be told that will mend that heart. There might be ugly crooked stitches to the wretched seam weaved but the heart will be put back together and given another opportunity to smile.

Sometimes in life we all are histrionic.

            3rd in the Vocabulary Series- Commiserate

There have been entertaining times in the past that there would have been elaborate decorations, fabulous place settings, theme presented food and certainly favors for guests. Yesterday, however, the above represented the extent of available goods, in the valley, pulled out quickly, for our pleasure. The best of this, of course, is the decoration my dear friend Bonnie gave me. She made this by using an old bed spring for the base. You can see a wonderful picture of this project here, on Carol Wingert's site. Bonnie made one for her as well, and her photography puts mine to shame. Smile.

There were not many pictures made yesterday but there was much commiseration among family and friends. My dad, our friends, Jim and Janice, from Maricopa, and my Randy are enjoying the pool. The temperature of the pool was absolutely perfect for all of us as we do not like cold pool water. Good thing, as the AZ heat was in force yesterday.

Janice and I donned our sun hats. Breanna, the daughter of Kim, at Sweet Sage Vintage, gave me my hat. If she saw this picture she would be upset that the rim was not positioned differently, to shade my face more. I loved playing with the rim though. It has wire and is able to be bent in all shapes and contortions. It was part of my fun yesterday. Speaking of Sweet Sage Vintage, you must and I mean must hop over to her site by clicking here. You will see the most amazing picture of her kitty. I am just in awe of her photography.

It was lovely to commiserate with Jim and Janice. One of the things we commiserated about was my dad. Everyone was coming over at one in the afternoon. We did not start cooking burgers until about four in the afternoon. All of a sudden, my dad got up from his chair by the pool and said he was going home. The charcoal was ready for the burgers. We were about to cook and bingo---off he goes, out of the blue. Told us he had food at home, he needed to feed Max, his dog and do other stuff. Other stuff? He is at his house, alone, most of the time, since mom died, a couple of months ago. We don't know if he just started missing my mom, since she normally would have  been celebrating with us, or what--- 

Don't know if we should have cooked much earlier or what----

Don't know ---

But--

it certainly was nice to have long time friends, playing, laughing and doing all kinds of commiserating about all of our lives. 

For the past three days, Amber has not been constantly on my mind. Janice said she could see it in my face. 

I am not sure if I told you Amber had dropped off the dogs to play with Chandler sometime last week. On the first of July it was Maria's parents anniversary. They all went out to a place called The Orchard, to celebrate. When they returned home the dogs were gone. A neighbor across the street came over to tell Maria Amber had been there and upon seeing Amber he called the police. By the time the police arrived, however, Amber had left. The neighbor did not want to get involved to the extent of going to court and testifying so nothing came of the incident. No one is quite sure how she got the dogs out of the house.

From looking on line Randy has seen that Amber's court date for the felony has been moved to July 20th, I think. We assume it is due to the change of public defender. The records Randy is looking at still show her misdemeanor pre-trial to be scheduled for the July ninth but Randy expects, come Monday when he checks, it too, will have been moved to the 20th.

 We have had a nice break being in the valley. It has been lovely to have some time feeling like the grandparents again instead of the parents, of our Chandler.

Truth be told, my heart is commiserating with my mind about going back to Pinetop today.

Candor

Second in Series of Vocabulary Words

Candor



! ! ! ! ! !     It Is The Fourth Of July     ! ! ! ! !

Enjoy your day!

We got a new king sized bed delivered yesterday. Hubby no longer has to sleep on the floor when we are in the valley. I can't tell you how much better our bedroom looks. The next time we are in the valley we are going to buy a large new refrigerator. We are tired of not having our house down here feel like a home when we are here. This whole selling the house thing has become as bizarre as our life this past year. Just a couple of months ago I was staying down here to pack up everything I could so we could get out in two weeks time. Now, we are on moving furniture back in , and keeping it for a few years, if it does not sell this summer. We will move everything out of the storage shed so we do not have that payment. Of course that is what we are saying today. Come a week from now, who knows?

Anyway, we joked with my dad yesterday  that the house would probably sell since we had bought a mattress and we told my dad he could store my mom's mint condition '87 Volvo in our garage. He only has a two car garage and he owns three cars!  One of these cars is that wonderful, sporty, cute ,historic red MG. I have shown you a picture of it in an earlier post. Anyway, guess what---

Came in the house last night, after taking dad out for wings and Randy got on his computer. We have a lease purchase offer on the house.

Are you ready?

They just LOVE our house and would CHERISH it

BUT their definition of love

is leasing it at $2100 a month for three and a half years before it closes.

They will pay down $30,0000

and pay us $500,000. for the house.

May I say, with great candor, they can go jump in a lake!

It can be a good old American Lake and it is the Fourth of July

so I am sure they will have a lot of company!

And with that piece of candor I will go make out some all American hamburger patties!

When I was at Mystic Paper, amongst their vast array of fun vintage embellishments, I found several vocabulary words. I had a delightful time picking out quite a few that seemed to fit my where abouts right now. Soooooo, I am going to start sharing them with you. You might want to see how or if the vocabulary word applies to you!

Mince:

  1.I seldom mince words when I am passionate about a subject.

 2. There are many times I would be more compelling if I chose to mince a few words.

 3. Last night, I did not mince my laughter ( yes, laughter, to the point of tears! ) when we played Farqal ( spelling?) with our friends, Janice and Jim. Janice was keeping score and she just turned into a comedian all during the game. It felt good not to mince my laughter.

 4. I minced onions for the potato casserole I made last night.

 5. I do not want to mince wishing you a happy day today and a wonderful Fourth Of July tomorrow!

I Keep

I keep thinking I am going to post-

I keep thinking about what I am going to post-

I keep thinking-

Here I am on this Thursday morning. I have been absent for just a few days. Maybe it is the heat in the valley. Maybe it is spending a lot of time running around to stores---- where one actually wants to shop. Maybe it is trying to avoid the HEAVINESS. 

Yesterday I dropped by Mystic Paper to visit. I was lucky enough to stop by when Mike Putman, Ellen, Kim, and the Peddler were in house. Nice couple of hours. While catching up on a little of life's happenings, Mike described to me perfectly the scent in the atmosphere for the past few months - HEAVY- The weight of the world is not as light in nature right now. It is like all of us could use some new special wings which would enable us to fly again.

My husband was talking to our realtor about a week ago. Her husband was diagnosed with throat cancer about two weeks after they listed our home. Since that time he has recovered but only after a very painful battle with more than the illness itself. Now his daughter has been diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, Cindy was telling Randy about something her grandmother used to say to her. It goes something like this. If all the worries of the world were thrown into a river and you were allowed to go in the river and pick any worry you wanted, out of the rive, you would always pick your own. You would do this because you know what it is and the known is more comfortable with which to deal than the unknown.

Last night Randy and I started talking about problems we know people are facing and did the game of would we switch---

I have to admit, there were some I would not switch with but others I thought I would--- BUT when it comes right down to it I know I am dealing with the best worries for me. I know I have the ability to deal with my worries because they are MY worries. They are given to me because I need them. I need them to help develop my personality and my growth. I need them to allow me to figure out a learning process so I can move on. I need them because, after all, everyone needs something, to get rid of, in life. And so it is:

 I keep thinking I want to get rid of this ---

 I keep thinking I will find a way to accomplish this goal-

 I also though keep thinking though , it is all right. I AM where I  need to be at this particular moment. 

 I just looked at the clock and realized what time it is. My door  bell is going to ring soon so I am now thinking I best get  dressed and say goodbye to you for now.

 I keep thinking how nice it is to visit with you so I hope to return  soon. Hope your day turns out to be a light weight one!