Monday, February 23, 2009

Happy 38th Birthday, Amber

About ten and a half years ago when the Suns and our family were on top of the world. 
Maybe one day we will both be back in the groove. Like the Suns, it will take many adjustments  changes and hard work. We will never be the same team as before but then again who ever is the same as the day or year before?
Amber, with her son, Chandler, shortly after he was born. She would have been 27 in this picture.
Amber was born ten years to the day after her cousin, Dayna, was born. In a picture below you will see them celebrating Amber's first birthday together. 
Yes, you are seeing the same picture. I do not seem able to delete or move my photos around since getting my new Mac computer. I love the Mac but this part is frustrating me to no end. I used to be able to highlight  the photo and push delete. To move my photos I would just highlight them and move them around. Now, I can highlight but then the arrow will not change so the picture can be moved. On the other hand, you will see below, I did get a picture to move a little but not where I wanted it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If anyone out there has some hints for me I will gladly take the advice!
I want to post so I am just posting all of this as is. I apologize in advance for the poor organization.

Below you will see pictures of Amber's early birthday celebrations. Below these you will see my main text and the pictures of her first days in this world.

Thirty eight years ago, on a snowy day, in Murfreesboro, TN, I awoke thinking maybe I was in labor. I had never given birth before and did not know what labor would actually feel like. I called a couple of friends who had already had children. Both described back pain. Nope, no back pain. I decided I must not be in labor. I had heard too many tales of people going to the hospital only to be sent back home. Just in case though I took a bath and shaved my
 legs. I can specifically remember making sure my legs were shaved. Alright, then I called Dr. Kennedy, my doctor. She told me to come in so she could check me. Off to the Dr. Yep, she told me to go to the hospital. On the way, Amber's father, stopped at Kentucky Fried Chicken to eat. I, of course, could have nothing. Since then, people have commented to me how insensitive this was on his part. At the time it did not bother me. Anyway, I got to the hospital around noon. As most mothers do, I remember the time well. I won't elaborate on the details---most of you know them from your own experiences! Around 5:59 , Kelly Amber DuPriest, my daughter, was born. I wanted her named Amber Neill DuPriest. Neill was my maiden name and I thought it sounded classy. But Amber's birth father did not like the name Amber.  In order to name her Amber I had to agree to name her Kelly. When Amber was born Amber was NOT a common name. I like unusual names----seems I started something with all the Amber's around now-------Anyway, she was a beautiful baby and I was full of a mother's love. I am still full of a mother's love but my hopes and dreams are different now. My hopes are that she will make better choices for her life and my dreams are that she will make better choices for her life. She is at a disadvantage but ultimately each person makes choices regardless of the circumstances. Amber's birth father struggled with depression all of his life. He eventually committed suicide after ten years of marriage when Amber was six years old. Her early years were spent in a family that was not the best to say the least. I was nineteen when I married and I thought I could save my husband. Since I have learned it was me I should have been saving----we all need to save ourselves----the only person we really control. Anyway, as the years passed I did my best, married a wonderful man who has been Amber's father for 30 years. Starting from around the age of 12 Amber made choices that led to most of her teenage years being in drug programs across the state of AZ and juvenile detension centers. She was allowed to return home each time she completed a treatment program. This was not often as most of the time she ran away from the treatment centers. She would also run away from home eventually even when she did complete the programs. Around the age of 14 she was diagnosed as being manic depressive. Medicine, on and off again----hard to be on meds when running away. Counseling with Gordon Cuddeby ( he still practices in the valley and I highly recommend him ) and going to Tough Love sessions gave us the courage to wake up each day.  At the age of 19 after many years of pain for everyone, Amber decided to take meds regularly and started reaching for a better way of living. Through many trials and glories we regained a family relationship. This past October that relationship delved back into the depths of blackness. While not understanding the actions on our daughter's part we have had to rely on former growth lessons.  Regardless of the reason's one deals with the behavior. That old adage, " Actions speak louder than words" must remain foremost in our minds. There are many details that could be told but on this day they are not important. The important thing is regardless of the age, a mother wishes her child the best on her birthday and prayers for her protection. Your prayers are appreciated too! 

1 comment:

Paris Cowgirl said...

Here's a big HUGGGGG for you CeCe. Remember, this too shall pass.