Tonight at supper my husband and I were contemplating our current living conditions, physically and emotionally. . He told me I was NOT alright. He then told me he had not expressed himself correctly. He told me what he should have said was neither one of us could be alright with what is going on in our lives right now. He is smart. We are both struggling. There is much more drama. I continue to wrestle with what to write about and what is better left unsaid. I continue to struggle with how to express my feelings even if I decide to write about what no one else would choose to tell the world. I continue to tell myself to just spill my guts. Why be concerned with what is being a "good" person or a "bad" person? I so want to have what I say help someone. I so want what I have to say be credible. I so want what I have to say to touch someone. I so want what I am feeling and going through to have a meaning other than the pain I feel. I so want----
Maybe soon I will have the time to devote to what I want that is not out of my control.