N Your Dreams

Beautiful cover, huh?

As I looked through the magazine I found things that I liked , things that I liked a little more and then lots of things, especially in the back half of the book, that I loved!

Sort of like real life, huh?

This is a wonderful little book. Bonnie gave it to me years ago and I keep it on my bedside table  I just saw it at Barnes and Nobel and it was on sale big time.  I highly recommend it.

I am grateful for my anger as it helps keep the hurt at bay.

One of my friends had  family visiting last week from another state. They don't stay at her house . They stay somewhere in- between both of the grandmothers. Over the course of the past few years there has been disappointment, on her part, from the lack of communication and lack of being treated in a kind matter. I received an email from her this week and another unkind thing had occurred. She did not say what the exact occurrence was but she did say she had exercised control in fighting back tears all day. At the end of the email she expressed the following, which smacked me right between the eyes.

                                          I wish I could get angry instead of hurt!

It dawned on me the importance of this statement, not to her ( although she certainly already had it figured out ) but to me. I have been doing somewhat better lately in dealing with my daughter. Now part of this is because I have had a week's sabbatical to be in the valley. Just being removed from sharing the same town with her has been helpful. BUT, the most helpful thing of all has been the emotion of anger. How could a daughter sell one of her mother's prized possessions and blatantly lie about  and continue to lie about it even when there is proof this was done? How could a daughter hold her son hostage for a pack of cigarettes and money? How could a daughter who is smart and beautiful get her name in the paper because she has been arrested for a felony charge of running into two cars on purpose? How does said daughter get the charges vacated and time and time again get by with unsavory events when the mother of this daughter has most of the police department out, in full force ,when she has innocently followed a school bus for her grandson.  

 How? How? How? the questions form in my mind. Yes, anger is my friend right now because when I employ it  I am the least heartbroken.