You Know It Don't Come Easy

Trying to figure out exactly what to post.

So many things and yet much the same.

Call late last night from nurse at hospital saying if we wanted to say good bye to mom to come. She had not been moved to Hospice yet because her Dr. wanted to see her one last time???? Hello? He had seen her three times already. She had a massive heart attack that then caused the stoke. There was one hospice bed at the facility closest to my dad. They would not hold the bed but he wanted to see her one more time?????? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh---

Well- back to call --- I did not answer my phone as it was my cell and my husband would have been calling on land line. By the time I got up, got message and called back they had called my dad already. Long story short, Randy got up, got dad, took him to hospital. After being there for three hours my dad told Randy this was not his cup of tea, waiting and watching. Randy took him home. I have never ever understood why people wake people up to tell them of a death or to come to say good-bye. I just don't get it. Good-byes have been said long before this stage of the game. When one is in the condition my mother is in, one is not thinking of earthly matters. I know I have a very different view point of death, though.  Sean Penn, at the Academy Awards, said something about understanding how difficult he made it, at times, for people to like him. I am well aware that some of my view points are not held by many others in this society.

Today: Mom still alive. Randy and Dad very tired. Luckily another bed opened up at Hospice facility. Mom moved. Dad and Randy tell me it is just lovely, really, really, nice.

Funeral arrangements made.

I was to pick Chandler up and take him to mommy Ambers. I picked him up but he came home with me. Heard through Ria, she was having a bad day and I should keep him. I read to him before he goes to bed each night. Tonight was one of those special nights when I got some serious, unexpected expressions of love and gratitude from him----the kind which makes each parent or grandparent's heart burst with joy. Now THIS is what it is all about.

No, it don't come easy, but sometimes it comes and when it does it is pure heaven. So,if the heaven my mother is about to enter ( and I believe it is ) is as joyful as the heaven on earth Chandler showed me this evening, she will be a very happy woman, not just in an every now and then moment but continuously. Good for you, Mom!