Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Tuesday's Chronicle

 Judge took off the order of protection. Said there was not enough evidence of harassment to justify the order. He told Maria and Amber they needed to work out amicably Amber getting her things from the house. Maria told the judge she had tried to do that the day before but Amber would not participate. Amber told the judge she should have renter's rights. The judge then asked Maria if there was a lease or if Amber was paying rent. Of course Maria said no. Maria told the judge Amber wanted Maria to give her keys to the house and Maria was not going to do so. The judge did not tell Maria she had to. He just repeated they needed to work out an agreeable arrangement for Amber to get her things.

After this hearing Amber looked at the judge and asked him when the next hearing was concerning the other order of protection against her. The judge told Amber to ask the clerk.

Last night I started thinking about this question to the judge. A crystal clear revelation came to me. I know I have thought this before but it was like looking through a windshield that was muddy and had just been cleaned. Amber craves attention. All of her life she has created situations for attention. For eighteen years she turned the desire for attention into positive societal endeavors. Now, as in her teenage years, she is getting attention through negative endeavors. Attention. She must be in the midst of attention.

Maria went to the house and unlocked it. Amber told her she was not getting out of the house until she got her money. She also told Maria she needed to get the utilities turned on. She continued to hold to the story she did not do the writing in the house and she was willing to prime everything to have everyone hold up to their part of the bargain.

Grandy and Chandler came home from fishing. Boo Hoo--- no fish. Chandler caught one and got it almost to the boat and it got away. He caught one more but it was too small to keep. Grandy did not get a single bite. They enjoyed their boat fishing anyway. 

Amber was called as agreed on the day before. She came to pick him up. When she came in she told him they would have to sleep on the floor where she was staying. She asked him if he wanted her to bring him back to our house. He asked her if that was alright. She told him if it was alright with us. Yeah, right----like it wouldn't be for heaven sakes. Anyway, she told him tonight, Tuesday night, they could stay at a friends house, of Chandler's, where there would be a bed. As it turns out, this is interesting--- this is a child that exchanged phone numbers with Chandler one night after one of Chandler's baseball games. Eric, the child in question, was on the rival team. Ria, Grandy and I met the mother ,in the parking lot, as the kids were talking to one another and exchanging numbers. Now it seems, Amber knows this mother in some fashion--even enough to be spending the night there. 

Well--anyway--- onward with this saga. Amber turned to Grandy and said again she needed the money. She said she told Maria she is willing to do whatever it takes to fix the house up to get everyone to keep the bargain made. She told him she needs a new carburetor for her truck and the money to get an apartment so she has a place to raise her son. Chandler and Amber left to go look at apartments. Grandy and I went to bed for a nap. 
I had a hard time sleeping. I got up about 2:30. To my surprise Chandler was on the couch with his computer in tow. He told me they had gone to look at some apartments and then couldn't think of anything else to do so she had brought him back to our house. I think she must have had him not more than two hours. 

Tonight Chandler has a baseball game at 6:30. The game will be over about 8:15. Amber is getting him after the game to go to Eric's.

Yesterday, Maria started the second stage of getting Amber evicted from the house. The five days she had to wait after sending a certified letter was up yesterday. She had to pay $100. to have papers served to Amber. We imagine when these papers are served there will be more mayhem. After the papers are served there is another waiting period of some kind before the police are able to go to the house and remove her from the premises. I also am not sure what is going to happen regarding any of this since the locks are changed and Maria has to now let her in the house to get her things. I think this is just a formal process that must take place in order for Ria to move back into the house with no legal ramifications.

If you are confused as you read this mess, you are normal. We are living it and it is confusing to us. So confusing in fact, my dear husband was the most depressed yesterday that I have ever seen him. His faith in the court system is low at the moment. He sees the horror of Amber using Chandler to try to make us feel sorry for her so she will get the $2500, even though the house was destroyed. He doesn't see an end in sight to this mess. Living in the moment yesterday was very difficult for him, as there weren't many moments filled with joy---bless his heart---he was even sad about being a poor fisherman.

 I keep holding on to the fact that this just cannot continue---surely, surely, surely, one of these offenses will lead to her being incarcerated. I know the next couple of weeks will be crucial in how some of this plays out. Amber has a court hearing this Thursday for the two charges the judge released her on the other day. It has also been a week since the summons for the felony was sent so it should just be another week before the warrant is issued for that offense. 

  Chandler is a bright boy. He is aware of much that is going on with his moms and us. However, as much as he knows the situation, he also wants his mommy Amber to be alright. Kids are loyal beyond all sensibility to their parents.  As I have said over and over, Amber is the best verbal con artist we have ever seen. She can honestly convince a black wall that it is white. As adults, we get confused and off track at times with her skills of delusion. An eleven year old does not stand a chance in sorting through the mess and totally turning his back on the mother that once played with him, sang with him, loved on him, laughed with him. I am sure Chandler just keeps holding on to the hope that his mom of old and all of us will just wake up one morning and all be a happy family again. I don't know what it would take for him to totally get it and be able to tell a judge he wants to be with us and not his mother. Especially if she was in the courtroom. She is intimidating. I hate to be around her. In fact, I just promised my husband I would not disappear into the bathroom and leave him to fend for himself alone against her. I must admit I did this yesterday. It is just so very unnerving to be in her company.

Chandler went to school with Ria today. Grandy is back in bed sleeping off a headache. I am about to work on product for my packaging business. I am creating more little houses out of gable boxes. These houses are especially fun for me as I know that cute, darling objects will be living inside them----not people with shattered lives.
Don't worry- I just liked the way that shattered lives line sounded for the story. Yes, our lives are a constant challenge right now but Grandy and I have the tools to reconstruct the broken pieces and we have the best life glue on the market --- strong beliefs, knowledge resulting from counseling, and great love for one another and life.

Till the next segment I remain gratefully yours-

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